Developing cold feet is not unusual, but it is very scary. If you are reading this article, you are probably frantically browsing the internet to find answers to your questions and to see if this is “normal.”
Keep reading; we will give you answers to all of your questions and many tips on how to know if you should get married.
Question: Should I Get Married If I Have Doubts About Our Goals and Values?
First, there is an old saying that opposites attract. Through our differences, we manage to remain unique and our own. However, while small differences can be tolerated, yours and your partner’s ideals, goals, and values must align.
You should not ignore yours, and your partner’s the fact that you and your parents have entirely different values and views about the world. Also, it will come back in the long run; the matter cannot be ignored. Maybe he/she is not the ONE for you.
Question: Should I Get Married If I See Red Flags?
Next, a heathy marriage cannot be sustained on love alone. Every problem and every red flag you see in your partner while you are dating will multiply by a hundred once the two of you get married.
Do not expect red flags to disappear with the marriage and do not expect your partner to change instantly. In fact, that will not happen, even if your partner promises it will. Playing that game, you’re in for a heartbreak. What are your deal-breakers and non-negotiables? Talk about that with your partner before the two of you get married.
Question: What If the Spark Goes Out in Our Marriage?
This question is the most frequently asked when it comes to wedding problems and cold feet. It comes in variations, such as:
- Will we start hating each other?
- If the spark goes out?
- What if we become bored with each other?
- Can we get too busy for each other?
After marriage, life becomes just a little bit more complicated. Now it’s not only you and your partner. There will be many other commitments: jobs, kids, family, businesses, etc. The busy life may bring the two of you closer or tear you apart.
The truth is that you must work on your spark, staying alive; it cannot sustain itself without your help.
Finally, every once in a while, think of new things that will spice up your relationship and bring the two of you closer. Don’t stop doing the things you did together when it was only the both of you.